Daughter of the King

more redneck jokes

You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin'?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck too!)

You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

You've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You clean your nails with a stick.

You prefer car keys to Q-tips.

You've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.

You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You've ever been too drunk to fish.

You've ever bought a used cap.

You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You've ever used a weedeater indoors.

Your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).

You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.

In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.

You've ever spray painted your friend's name on an overpass.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.

The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".

Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

Red Man sends you a Christmas card.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".

You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. (Is that a bad mental image or what?)

posted by Becca @ 10:13 AM