honor once lost
In todays culture girls wear pants too. We cut our hair short, and claim that we are as good as boys in basically everything (maybe even better.) The trouble is that it's not the way it's supposed to be. I know several girls who would read this and disagree with me, but I'm going to take a stab at what at least some girls really appreciates, and maybe it will help guys understand.Despite the feminest movement, this girl is flattered when the door is held open for her. There is nothing so sweet, and in our culture unexpected, as a boy waiting a couple seconds because a girl a few yards away is coming towards the door and he has decided to hold it open for her. At Marian guys don't hold the door open for every girl. The sporty ones give the vibe that they would rather open it themselves, and maybe that is their loss and they regret it I don't know, but the girls who dress like girls, and have a feminine attitude the guys will treat them like girls. Maybe it goes beyond what we wear to what we expect. This semester I have been honored by a few guys who take the time to courteously wait for me to walk through the open door, and I really appreciate it.
Guys will struggle with whether they would offend a girl by holding the door open, and I can understand their confusion because a lot of girls take their thoughtfulness as an insult. They think, "what!? Just because I'm a girl you think you have to hold the door open? No sir, I can get it thanks."
I just wanted to say thanks to the gentlemen out there who repect girls, and try to honor them with little gestures of courtesy. It used to be expected, now it's a pleasant surprise. Thanks to all you guys who open the door, carry the heavy box, get the luggage, carry the food tray, take out the trash, stir the too-hard-to-mix cookie dough, warm up the car. All those little things are a token of your respect and care for the girls you know and love. We really appreciate it.
posted by Becca @ 9:21 AM
11 Comments:
It's true. Thank you!
I totally agree, it is so sad that it is a rare thing to see a feminine female these days... its no wonder our society is so confused.
What are you saying? Boys should open doors for everyone? Girls should wear skirts and have long hair? Feminity isn't about what we wear or look like.
I think holding the door open is just a common courtesy regardless of sex. I am a female, and if a guy or girl came up behind me I would hold the door open for them. It would be rude to let the door slam in their face. I think this whole issue is more the rudeness of our society.
Would you like to go back to the days when a girls only option in life was to get married??? Back when it was disgrace if you weren't married by 20?? Back when girls were so desperate to get married they would take the first chance that came to them??? Maybe in are society doors aren't held opened for girls, but i'd must rather live in this society than be in one where I am very vulnerable.
Yes, Anna, boys should open doors for all girls -- not always because girls are ladies, but because they are gentlemen.
I don't think girls should always have long hair and wear skirts, but I think they should recognize a distinct difference between the way God created them and the nature He put in boys (besides the obvious...) And I think likewise God wants men to honor women as He made them to be. Men are to be above women in almost every (in every??) respect. That's just the way God designed it, and that's the way it should be.
[I commented also below, Becca. :o)]
One of my favorite stories along these lines regards a man (I've heard it's Ken Smith, but I'm not sure) who was walking into a professional building and stopped to hold the door open for a young female professional. She stopped, smirked and said, "I don't need you to hold the door open for me because I'm a woman!" To which he replied, "Ma'am, I'm not holding this door open for you becasue you're a woman, I'm holding this door open for you because I'm a gentleman."
I definitely agree, Becca:)Great post!
Hey, I didn't realize that this would be such a topic of discussion. I mostly just brought it up because I had just been thinking how nice it was that a guy got the door for me yesterday even though he didn't know who I was. I noticed that he looked at my face for a moment before deciding to wait and hold the door for me. It got me thinking because I know he could tell that I would appreciate it, but he had to make sure becuase some people wouldn't. I thought about the contrast from a hundred years ago when women weren't allowed to do so many things because they were women, and I'm not sure that the other end of the extreme is any better.
Anna, it's not that women can't do these things, but it's the way God set it up. We are the weaker vessel, and our culture doesn't agree with the biblical principle.
Long hair and skirts aren't marks of a real woman. I'm sorry if that came across wrong. I was just using them as an outward example of the shift that has taken place in society.
That is very true, Becca. Thank you for pointing that out. Feminity goes much deeper than just what is on the outside -- it is a heart attitude.I think we, as girls, can play a huge role in encouraging the men around us to be gentlemen too.
I read a series of articles awhile back that captured a lot of the essence of this discussion: Check this out: http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/modern-day-gentleman/
Chivalry is almost a lost art nowadays, unfortunately. I had the same thing happen to me when I was on campus not long ago ... and it had the same effect on me. :) The gentlemen may be few and hard to find, but they're out there! Kudos to them.
I didnt disagree with anything you said, Becca, I was wondering what you were trying to say because at first it seemed like you were saying women have to wear skirts and long hair. Then you started saying women shouldnt open doors and then started saying men should always open doors. I never said anything against that it was just unclear. Just because we are the weaker vessel doesnt mean we have to be the damsel in distress.
yes, I find the shift in culture extremely disturbing.
I often tell people that everything is ultimately a guys fault. I believe that men need to be leaders and women supporters. I think this is the way God designed the world.
I get really really annoyed at femenists. It is one of those things that kind of makes my blood boil. However, the fault probably lies with the males of the culture failing to be who God made them to be. What kind of woman would want to admit that the steriotype couch potato male somehow is over her?
Eve took the fruit... Adam not only allowed it but took some herself.
the exact same thing has repeated itself a million times since then.
men aren't man enough to stand up for what is right.
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