Daddy says I came home subdued...
Mom and I made the trek out to Grove Cit college last Lord's Day afternoon. We arrived around 9. Seeing the campus again was fantastic. With each visit I am more and more excited about the lovely place that I will call home for the next three years. Registration day went well. I met new people and signed up for classes. This next school year is going to be interesting. I left wondering how I was going to finish everything in three years... but more importantly, how I was going to start all over again.I've never had to start all over again, before now. I have lived in the same city, and basically the same house- which doubled as a school- all my life. I have attended 2RP since before I was born, and I love them. I have been loved by people, and I have loved people. I've been understood and had people who could relate to me because they have had similar experiences.
Not now.
I am going to move six hours away to live with people that are from all over the country. We all have such different backrounds, but most of them can relate on two things that I cannot: they have attended a typical evangelical church all their life, and they went to school.
Sunday night when I was talking with some kids in the lobby it dawned on me, not for the first time, that I am a minority. The question was asked, "who has the most brothers and sisters." People said, I have three, I have four... and I mumbled under my breath I have 10. Blank stares... laughter... disbelief. I am going to get a lot of that I think.
What I have to realize is that God has given me the blessing of comfort and security over the last 18 years, and now he's taking a lot of that away so that I may be more dependant on Him rather then my situation and circle of friends. Jesus was a minority on earth... and He handled it wonderfully.
I'm sure I'll meet friends and by this time next year I will feel very differently. Right now I'm scared, and lonely. I am frustrated, because people keep telling me it will come easily, and it hasn't come. It was like when I was training to be a server, and I knew that soon enough I would be really good, but while I was training I didn't know everything, and I had to take it slow. I want to know everyone and be comfortable, because I know I will be, but right now I'm not, and it's hard.
So, when Daddy, and others, say that I am subdued, this is way. I must learn to cast my cares on my Savior because He cares for me.
posted by Becca @ 10:25 AM
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