Daddy says I came home subdued...
Mom and I made the trek out to Grove Cit college last Lord's Day afternoon. We arrived around 9. Seeing the campus again was fantastic. With each visit I am more and more excited about the lovely place that I will call home for the next three years. Registration day went well. I met new people and signed up for classes. This next school year is going to be interesting. I left wondering how I was going to finish everything in three years... but more importantly, how I was going to start all over again.I've never had to start all over again, before now. I have lived in the same city, and basically the same house- which doubled as a school- all my life. I have attended 2RP since before I was born, and I love them. I have been loved by people, and I have loved people. I've been understood and had people who could relate to me because they have had similar experiences.
Not now.
I am going to move six hours away to live with people that are from all over the country. We all have such different backrounds, but most of them can relate on two things that I cannot: they have attended a typical evangelical church all their life, and they went to school.
Sunday night when I was talking with some kids in the lobby it dawned on me, not for the first time, that I am a minority. The question was asked, "who has the most brothers and sisters." People said, I have three, I have four... and I mumbled under my breath I have 10. Blank stares... laughter... disbelief. I am going to get a lot of that I think.
What I have to realize is that God has given me the blessing of comfort and security over the last 18 years, and now he's taking a lot of that away so that I may be more dependant on Him rather then my situation and circle of friends. Jesus was a minority on earth... and He handled it wonderfully.
I'm sure I'll meet friends and by this time next year I will feel very differently. Right now I'm scared, and lonely. I am frustrated, because people keep telling me it will come easily, and it hasn't come. It was like when I was training to be a server, and I knew that soon enough I would be really good, but while I was training I didn't know everything, and I had to take it slow. I want to know everyone and be comfortable, because I know I will be, but right now I'm not, and it's hard.
So, when Daddy, and others, say that I am subdued, this is way. I must learn to cast my cares on my Savior because He cares for me.
posted by Becca @ 10:25 AM
5 Comments:
It is so hard to be joyful when you are unsure of what God has in store. What if it is not what you have in mind. Or what is God wants you to wait for a very long time before He gives you what you think you need now...
But that is when we remember who our Savior is and smile during the painful lonely times. I will try to remind you to be content and joyful. God is faithful and you can trust Him to do what is best for you. Even when it doesn't feel like that is true.
I love you.
We're right down the road, Becca! Come visit us (and Flo :-)!
I hate to say this but when I started going to college it was the hardest time of my life... and I was still living at home... I don't know what the atmosphere is like at grove city but it was difficult for me to adjust to standing alone in a place where everyone seemed to be going in a different direction than me. I guess I went in assuming that I was going to be friends with everyone I met and I didn't realize that some people hate what I love. Some people laugh at what makes me cry...
So there's two things you can do... you either stand alone or join the crowd and deny what you believe in. Its a battle true believers face every day and I often fail...
However, through it all God is glorified and I don't regret going to college, the only thing I regret is not realizing that Christ is the only thing that can fill my life and make me feel complete...
See, you should have come to Geneva, as many students have several siblings :-) In all seriousness, I know I had a hard time; less than a month after my first semester began, I felt completely snowed under.
My advice to you: get to know the other RP students, and become deeply involved with Rose Point RPC. You may not know many of them, and most of them may not know you, but (1) you and they have plenty in common, including many mutual friends, and (2) it's a really welcoming congregation in which you can feel at home.
Even if you go to a college where you know a lot of people, I think that because of your personality, the change from highschool to college, isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world. I'm sure you'll do fine though, the first year is usually the hardest socially and sometimes academically. Good luck though and are we going to be able to get together soon? I facebooked you back, just to let you know.
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