jumbled
My thoughts are so jumbled I can’t think straight. I have a million ideas pounding through my head. I have begun four different papers due tomorrow, and I have work to do on all of them. Some are further along than others, obviously. I wish I could just talk my papers. I wish I could sit here, speak, and have someone or something write down everything I say.
You know that feeling of just… not knowing how to feel because there are so many things to feel. It’s where I’m at. I hope I make it. I’m not depressed just desperate, and hopeful.
of school and things like it
Hi,
My name is Rebekah, and I am homeschooled. (That means I do my school at home.) I do take classes at other places though. It's all very interesting. Yes, I like it a lot, but then I don't know anything different so I don't have much to compare it to.
I'm the oldest of eleven children. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. It actually is. I don't know what I would do with out all my people. I have really cool parents. They care a lot about my life and that's good. I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't know where I am going to college. In fact, I don't know what I am going to do with my life. I do know I will serve God, and that's about it. I'm a Christian. Whatever God wants me to do, I will do.
I just got my license three weeks ago. It's fun driving by myself. I like being able to pick the temperature of the car and the radio station. I like being able to go where I wish when I wish. Well, that's not totally true, remember my parents care about my life. That means that they care about where I go, and when I go there. It's good. I'm glad I am who I am. Though, I don't have much to compare it too. I haven't ever been anyone else. So, it would be accurate to say, that I am the best person I have ever been. *smile*
I am going now. If you see anyone I know, wish them well. I love a lot of people, and it would be most helpful if you would tell them so. I have things to do. Please leave your name, number and a brief message and I'll get back with you as soon as I can.
Alive and crazy... I think,
Rebekah
a long and productive day
I am glad that this day is done. It was a long and productive day. I suppose I could incorrect in saying it was long. I didn’t ever really feel like time was going by slowly, but was just a constant day. I mean I was constantly doing something; which is why it was productive. I am satisfied. That’s good, because it doesn’t get any better than this. *Smile* I mean, what else could I want? What else of true and lasting value do I desire? Don’t mistake my meaning. I am not as good as being able to claim perfect contentment. It’s just that I can claim the promises of Jehovah, and there is nothing else in the world I could need.
I’m tired, and I need rest. Continue doing good. Enjoy coming before God’s throne in worship tomorrow. It’s exciting.
Thankful
I'm thankful for my warm house.
I'm thankful for my amazing family.
I'm thankful for my eyes.
I'm thankful for my hands.
I'm thankful for my car.
I'm thankful for my wonderful garden.
I'm thankful for God.
I'm thankful for God's Son.
I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit.
I'm thankful for His Word.
I'm thankful for the beautiful sunset.
I'm thankful for my dear friends.
I'm thankful for my extended family.
I'm thankful for my salvation.
I'm thankful for prayer.
I'm thankful for singing the Psalms.
I'm thankful for my education.
I'm thankful for music.
I'm thankful for words.
I'm thankful for air.
I'm thankful for love.
the death of the maker
A long whimper caught my ear from the other room. I walked into the kitchen to see what my mother was so upset about. She stood starring at the coffee maker with terror in her eyes. "Becca, check to see if there is any water in it," I did so. Alas, the machine was turned on, coffee ground were present in the filter cone, and the sufficient amount of water was in it; still it wasn't working. Mom shook it and tried to revive it back to life, but to no avail.
Our little coffee maker died yesterday.
My Father entered the scene with a forlorn look of despair. No coffee. He began to mutter about how sick he was of everything breaking around here. It didn't matter what we did, there would be no coffee in the Long house.
I offered to pay 33% of the cost to replace it. My father found that a very attractive offer. He plans on buying a new on in the near future. I figure, the nearer the better.
Anyways this morning the coffee maker was still dead. Imagine that. So I had to go out and buy some coffee from a local gas station. I would have liked to get it from Panera, because I think they sell the best black coffee, but it's too far a drive for such a small matter.
On a more encouraging note, my mom is healing. She had a hernia in her stomach. Essentially a bit of her stomach was caught in her esophagus. This little medical missionary figured it out, and fixed by doing some intense massaging techniques. The point is, though her stomach is still really bruised from the esophagus clamping down on it, she is getting progressively better, and everything should be ok in about a day. Praise be to God. He has heard our many prayers and answered them in His good time.
Well on this day I have much to accomplish for the Kingdom.
Life Goes On
The days are going by. Here we are, living on this earth with almost a matrix kinda outlook on life. We are so amerced in the life we live that we don't give too much thought to what comes after that. Even Christians are guilty. I know I am at least. I don't see people as immortal souls destined for heaven or hell. I see people as customers, co-workers, fellow students, friends, road-ragers, siblings, the list never ends. These people are just as disillusioned as the ones on Matrix. They walk around completely unconscious that there is a just God who will not stand their behavior and has them sentenced to eternal death; unless of course His Son Jesus claims them with His blood. Then God the Father will show them incredible mercy, and forgive them of their sin. One of these days we will all be unplugged and the truth will be made known that we are not only physical or intellectual beings, but we are spiritual.
Ok that was an odd tangent, but hey I've just been thinking about that lately. I had a good weekend by the way. I went to Westside for church Sunday night. I'm glad I could make it.
Last night my parents and I talked about college again. I get in these moody messes where I have to like search my heart out for different college options. The annoying part is that the more I look the more I'm not sure about what I am doing. I have been praying that God will make His path known to me so that I may begin to plan my future. He thus far as seen fit to teach me patience and reliance, by answering "Wait."
I trust Him though. As long as I go where He wants me I'm content.
I've got ENG 101 in an hour so I am going now. Have a beautiful day for the King.
Tomorrow is a day of rest!
Oh I am so excited that tomorrow I can relax a bit. What's even better is Thanksgiving break follows ou Lord's day! It's really good to get a break from life for a while. We aren't meant to just keep going and going without recreatation. Our beings need to be spiritually, emotionally and physically refreshed on a regular basis.
Well it is getting late (speaking of rest,) and though tomorrow is a day of rest, that does not mean during church. Therefore, I need to get to bed. Have an amazing time of worship. If you think of it, keep my mom in prayer. She's not feeling well.
Smile Jesus loves you.
It's snowing. The very first snow. It's a specail day. There won't be a nother first snow day for the winter of 2005 ever again! Just think, this is Historical.
Ok chill out. (hahahah)
thoughts
The year is drawing to a close. It's exciting. Life is exciting. School is going on and on, and today I signed up for more classes. Yeah, I am taking intro to Psychology and History of the Modern World next semester. Actually I am number one on the waiting list for History, but my advisor told me that the chances of one of the thirty students dropping the class between now and the middle of January are so high I should consider myself in the class. I'm anticipating the opportunities that next semester holds, but I am a bit nervous. See, I feel sorta overwhelmed with school right now, and to add another class seems a bit daunting, but God is faithful and I believe it's His will for me to take these.
At present I am studying for a Physics test. Actually I am writing on my blog, but that is the school work I am currently involved in. I have been told by many people that this is the easiest module in the book. A sorta scary thought because I don't find it that simple, so either I am thinking too hard, or it only gets worse after this. I actually don't hate Physics that much, so I think I will be all right.
I got my Modern Art paper back today. There are two exciting things about that. First, I discovered last night that I can essentially use the same paper for my Worldview Assignment this week. I will have to tweak it some, but not too much. That's good because I can spend more time on the Writing assignments I have, rather than WV's. Secondly, I got an A. Yeah, my Professor didn't agree with a couple of my points, and he said that. Nonetheless, he told me that I fulfilled the assignment with excellence. He made me happy.
Ok these are really random thoughts, and I'm sorry. I suppose that's why I entitled it thoughts. I have not been journaling as much as I used to. I think that's partly because I'm sick of writing, but some of it has to do with the fact that I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say. This may be true. I mean after you read this you might be thinking that I have nothing of value to say. I don't know why I am being so hard on myself.
Ok I said that we should play a game in the last post, and so we shall. This will be a game that I want to last even if I post again this week. Here it goes:
Rules.
1. With each post you have to write whatever it is you want to write, but then you have to name something you are thankful for.
2. It has to be in one word format. I mean that, you shouldn't say "beautiful falling snow specks" rather say "snowflakes."
3. The person who follows your comment has to come up with something they are thankful for that starts with the last letter of the word that you were thankful for.
Example.
Becca says:
I'm thankful for-
icecream
Margaret says:
I'm thankful for-
marshmallows
Object.
To thank God for all the wonderful things He has given us. Be a bit more heavenly minded just by listing random good things about life.
Ok we shall see how long we can handle this highly complex game. Have a good evening everyone. Living in and through His unfailing love and mercy.
An Ode to Milk
Oh how I love to drink,
Sometimes I don’t even think.
Milk with chocolate is grand.
It tastes nothing like sand.
Drinking is my favorite past time,
To the extent that it’s almost a crime.
Drinking is a habit everyone has.
If I drink too much I might spaz.
Sometimes I get a milk mustache.
Do you have a milk-stache?
It feels so good as it flows down my throat.
I really don’t want to drink the milk of a goat.
It’s good for my soul it’s good for my bones.
It satisfies even a small baby’s groans.
You can drink it warm, and you can drink it cold.
But it really tastes nasty when it gets old.
Oreos and milk, green eggs and ham,
I drink therefore I am.
Editor’s note: Written by the live poet’s association.
an update on the life of a coffee stained soul
Good evening to you in the land of the living. I am up and kicking. I will be up for quite a while, in order to complete all that I must before dawn. I went clothes shopping for the first time in five months today. I only bought the things I needed, and so I didn't break my promise (Flo) but I did get some very exciting items. I bought a pair of jeans, a coat and pj pants. Yeah, somehow that makes me happy to know that I spent my money wisely. On things that I needed, and didn't waste it on things I didn't need.
Anyways, I have to write a paper about Samwise. I am very excited about finishing it because I just need to make a few more points about how he should be America's hero and than I will be done. It's due tomorrow for my ENG class, and it will be a good paper.
I am sorry that I haven't posted in a while. The truth is I haven't been home much. Anyways, thank you all for supporting me in my little driving thrill. I really love driving around with no one else in the car. There pretty much nothing better than that.
Have an amazing evening. I may get on here and start a game or something. We'll see.
I GOT IT!!!!!!!
*HUGEST SMILE EVER*
Yes, I have my drivers license! I passed the test this morning and now I can drive all by myself. Alright I have to head over to Good News Club with Mom and such, have a good day everyone!
One more day...
Tomorrow I am taking a big step. Tomorrow I will obtain a small piece of plastic that will enable me to legally drive alone on the road. Tomorrow is just another day out of thousands, but tomorrow I will be able to do something I have looked forward to doing for sixteen years. Tomorrow is pretty much going to be one of the best days of my whole little life.
Now as far as today goes; it's not bad. I am just living along, trying not to miss my garden too much, trying to love life a bit. Actually today I got to work in my beloved garden barefooted. I had to reorganize some dirt and so it was very important that I take the opportunity to work out there with no shoes on. It will most defiantly be the last time I can do that this year, and for months after. *Argh* I have never been this emotionally attached to my garden, but this year the separation is almost unbearable. I did appreciate spending some time there this afternoon, but parting is such sweet sorrow. All the plants are gone now, and it's just me and the earth. Although there is a new addition. I have begun a compost pile. I am now basically obsessed with taking "helpful" things out to that little section devoted to developing fertile soil.
Ok I have a research paper to get done here, so I can't complain about missing my garden. Plus, it's a bit nerdy to be so emotionally tied to a garden. For the record I'm not complaining. I am anticipating with eager intensions. Yeah, much better.
Well, I hope that all of you have the greatest and best moments of your life just breathing and thanking God for all He has done. Really, when you think about it, we can't even begin to count the things He has done. We can start a list though. I will be up for a while, and you all can add. Everyone list as many things you can take the time to name, that God has given us.
Then smile really huge because we've got it pretty well off all things considered. Ok, try we are blessed beyond measure!
I can't stop talking about Him...
You know how, when you're in love with someone, or at least really really love someone, (mostly because I don't know what it's like to be in love with someone, so I don't feel I have the qualifications to write on the topic, but at any rate.) You really really love someone, and you are continually finding out small things about them. Things you either forgot, or never took the time to know, or were never revealed to you until now because of how intimate they were. I could come up with a million examples of my family, and how I find out little new things about them and than want to share them with the world. It's crazy; I can't stop talking about Keziah at work, or church or anywhere! That’s the way it should be with God. I mean, that I have known Him forever, but I am constantly finding out “new” things about Him.
Although I guess I started this out with the inlove idea for a reason, because it is a better analogy. You know how a girl (or guy) that is just married cannot stop talking about her husband? I mean like literally every other word they say is about the person, or at least in reference to something that relates to them. It's so funny it's almost incredible.
The same analogy is made with us and Christ. We are inlove with Him. We are infatuated with Him, and yet would the people around us be able to tell? How freaky would it be, if you got to know someone “really well,” and then like after months of hanging out together or whatever they mention that they got married four months ago to Jane, and you had never heard him speak the name “Jane” in all the time you had spent with him. Not one reference. That just isn't right. Yet, how often, do we hang out with people and they have never heard us mention the name of Christ Jesus. Not even refer to Him as our Lord and Loving Master?!
It's so obvious when people are first married. I can practically declare them a newly wed with one glance. The same should be so with us. When people just get a glimpse of us, just one moment of interaction, they should know that we are His. It could be in how we care about them. It could be in how smile. It could be in how we treat those around us or how we deal with a not-so-great-situations. Whatever it is, we should be living the life of Christ. Taking up His cross, and encouraging others to do the same.
Ok well, I have learned from this insight and will ask God to give me a spirit of graciousness and joy; that I would be a testimony of His love and faithfulness. It's true that a fifteen second interaction with a smile and greeting can radically affect a person's whole life. I know that because it's happened to me.
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord." Colossians 3:23
*argh*
My head hurts. Not throbbing from physical ache, rather just hurts. I can't write anymore. I have written until my writing is just... blaugh. I have had my ups and downs all evening. After I worked out tonight I got home and about imploded. Ok I don't even know if I spelled that right, but oh well.
I was in a state of desperation. Thankfully I was encouraged by a few things. My friends and family have tried very hard to help me out. My father took me out for coffee and a milkshake. We do that sometimes, and tonight we went to Steak and Shake. It was very yummy, and we had a very nice server named Ashley. Anyways, when we got back I was ready to write again.
I am not there anymore. I mean that I just can't think of any creative thought. I can't. I need to restart. Anyways, just thought you may want an update. Maybe not, but still it comforts me to know that you care enough to read this at least at some point.
Take care.
A Simple Poem:
Sometimes people ask me why I smile and I don't always know what to say. Today I have an answer:
*Smile* because Jesus loves me.
*Smile* because my soul is set free.
*Smile* because my beds got fresh sheets.
*Smile* because my heart still beats.
*Smile* because I can serve my King.
*Smile* because than my soul will sing.
*Smile* because God hears me pray.
*Smile* because it's a beautiful day.
*Smile* because coffee I can taste.
*Smile* because time I can't waste.
*Smile* because it touches others deep.
*Smile* because it's worth the leap.
I smile because I have
the answer *smile.*
